This is my story.

I've felt so disconnected. Living with chronic pain is not easy. So often I feel like I am just going through the motions of living life. That is so unfair to everyone around me. I have finally truly confessed that I cannot do this on my own. While I've always known God was there, somehow I always seem to want to try to do things on my own. Anytime I feel like my attitude is just not where it should be, I'll just stop and sing This Little Light of Mine.

At the beach again. Who would have dreamed that I would be blessed enough to go twice in one year? I am "On Vacation" as Kat likes to say with 7 other ladies. We are a very different bunch, but God put us all here for a reason. Just like he does with every situation. Destin is very beautiful and a nice place to visit. Probably when I get to move to Dauphin Island someday (I'll never stop dreaming) then I can vacation in Destin. :) Kat, Teri and I left out of NLR on Friday afternoon and the bonding hasn't stopped yet. I look forward to adding some pics soon. I'll keep you updated on the week. Although what happens on the island stays on the island. The waves were huge tonight and so beautiful. Another wonderful sunrise. Thank you Lord for all Your many blessings in my life including 4 new friends.

Rainy Days and Monday's Usually Get Me Down

Amazing how a Rainy Monday at the beach is different. There is a beautiful blue Shrimp boat anchored in front of the house. The waves are crashing on the shore. The scent of coffee and bacon fills the air. Parked on the couch in front of the window, watching the Pelicans fish. Life is good today!

Amazing

I woke up at 5:37 this morning, just in time to head to the beach to watch the sun rise. I love the alone time. Just me and God. I sang at the top of my lungs. Awesome God, Sanctuary, Jesus Loves Me and of course Wade In the Water. I am so thankful today. Last night was really scarey. We had a horrible thunderstorm here on the island. A small boat was stranded about 100 yards out from our house. They sent off flares so I called 911. We tried to keep up with where they were in the water, we could only spot them during the lightning strikes. The rain came down so hard we could no longer spot them. Finally the Coast Guard called me back and told me that they had found them. It looked like they had drifted about a mile out. So thankful they were okay!

Really exhausted tonight, hopefully I will catch up on sleep and be way ahead of the game by tomorrow.

I'm back

A friend reminded me how much I love to blog, so I am going to start making more time. SOON, I promise. Is anyone still out there?

Wow, what an adventure!

As always, I'm behind, but I just realized that I never actually posted about the adventure that me, Brett & Renee had one Saturday in October. It was October 4th to be exact. That was "Family Day" at Arkansas Tech. The date had been on our calendars since Brett registered for college. A big concert with 38 Special and then a football game. Unfortunately, it was just not meant for us to attend. Dale's grandfather passed away, so he was going to be in Iowa with his mom & sister for the funeral. Daddy was still recovering from his surgery and it was just too soon for him to expend that much energy. Brett didn't want to go to the game without his Papa or the concert without his dad. So here we sat on Saturday afternoon, what to do????? Well, our family has always loved going for drives, usually with no particular destination in mind. When I say "our" family, that means all of us. Dale & I both grew up going for drives with our parent's as kids. Brett doesn't know any different. Renee was not easily convinced. She just didn't understand about going for a drive just to drive. Then we decided okay well maybe we could go to Pinnacle. Then I decided, hey maybe we could go check out where Dale & I would be staying at Petit Jean. So that's what we decided to do.....

We found "The Studio" at the Winthrop Rockefeller Center with no problem. It and the view were even more beautiful than I could have imagined.




Once we got there I think Renee was pretty happy. She got the chance to take some pretty cool pics. Most all of the pictures used today are her's. (I actually copied these from her Facebook and the title of the album is "Wow what an adventure"). So now you know, I'm not afraid to plagerize!



This is actually someone's house and this sign was in the front yard. When Dale and I went back the next week, the sign was gone. Hopefully the thief brought the stuff back, and didn't steal the sign.

We explored the mountain a little. Went to Mather lodge. We actually ran into a gentleman that we had met at the hospital when daddy had his surgery. It was so odd running into him there. We had talked in the hospital cafeteria. His daughter had just had a baby, and then developed a blood clot. The baby was precious (not as precious as Eva Kate, but still precious.) Anyway, I never thought I would see him again, and had often wondered about his daughter. We had agreed to pray for her and they had agreed to pray for Daddy. I could not believe it when I saw him standing there in Mather Lodge. Thankfully, his daughter is fine! We found out that he actually has 8 daughters and now 2 grand-daughters, so he & his wife are very blessed.

After leaving Mather lodge we saw this road with the sign saying Jct. Hwy 10. We decided to take the road, it seemed like a "short cut". Yea, right.............



After we got to the end of that road we had the option of turning left (which would have taken us to Hwy 10) or going right....where the sun was setting. It seemed like we should be able to go right and then find another road to get us back home, so off we headed into the sunset. Mistake....big mistake. After driving forever, looking at the sunset, we found a place to stop to try to capture some pics. I took off running up the fire road. Yes, I said running...... The next thing I knew I was falling, I could feel myself going down but it was in slllloooowwww mmmmooootttiiioon. Brett & Renee did not know what to do (thank goodness she did not capture that on camera!!!) I jumped up and kept running. We arrived in a field that had been clear cut probably last year because there was a lot of new growth. We could see Lake Nimrod stretching out below us in the valley. Below is one of the pics that Renee got of the sunset.


After driving FOREVER, on dark, windy, foggy roads (without seeing even one deer). We finally ended up going through Hot Springs Village and then found the interstate just outside of Benton. Yes, you read that correctly, from Petit Jean to Benton. The kids may never forgive me, but WOW, what an adventure..............

Christmas Spirit

Bah humbug. I'm so tired of everyone telling me to get in the Christmas Spirit. It doesn't help that I'm sick right now. I have a nasty chest cold, and I really just want to be left alone. It wouldn't matter if it was September or February. I feel icky and that's the bottom line. Unfortunately, now it has become a "thing". Everyone is worried about me. "I'm down because of the holidays." "I just don't have any Christmas Spirit...." What does that even mean any way? Christmas Spirit? I'm excited about Christmas itself but all this commercialization of Christmas is just so out of hand. I've been seeing Christmas trees since October. They've been playing Christmas carols since before Thanksgiving. It's so sad to me. For me there are lots of things that are Christmas tradtions, and those things are gone. Losing my mom & my grandparents have certainly made things different. Brett growing up has made a big difference. I miss being able to find that perfect present that made those blue eyes dance.

Next year should be really fun. Eva Kate will be at such a fun age! I'm sure we will start some new tradtions then.

I'm so blessed to have so many friends. Last week I celebrated with some of my sisterchicks and we watched "White Christmas" shared some good food and good wine. For me Christmas is about the relationships between us. Not the biggest or best presents. Tonight I'm blessed to be spending the evening with another group of friends, The Fabulous Forty Princesses. Tiara's are optional tonight. Sick as I am, wearing something sparkly just might make me feel better.

As we lose those that we love our traditions change. Change is hard for me, but then I guess it is for everyone. I've learned that it's okay to be happy, even if you really miss those that are no longer here to share the holidays with us. Christmas Eve is spent with my dad & that side of my family and we have the big "traditional" meal. We all bring part of the meal to keep the stress from falling on just one person. The next tradition is my favorite, the the midnight service. We started a new tradtion 4 years ago with Dale's mom and her husband for Christmas Day. We both gave up cooking for Christmas. We drive to Searcy, exchange gifts and head for the local Chinese restaurant. Afterwards we watch a movie, take a nap or play a board game or cards. I must say that I really enjoy it. I think we all do. The stress is gone and we just get to visit and enjoy each other's company. Some people might think that's horrible, that's okay. It makes my family happy so that's what's important to me.

Back to my original question, what is Christmas Spirit? I think it's different for each of us. For me it's kinda low key and subdued. For others it's all out decorating and celebrating for a month. If decorations = Christmas Spirit, then Tim Bir beats all of us. (I'm not talented enough to place a link directly, but if you cut and paste this url, you can see Tim's house yourself.)

http://arkansasmatters.com/content/Holiday_news_Fulltext?cid=161311

Seeing Tim's house certainly warms my heart, and maybe it does fill me with the Christmas Spirit. Does it make me wanna decorate that much.......NO! I just think about all the cleanup. (Guess that's where having 4 boys comes in handy).

Anyway...so those of you that have been worried about me, I'm fine. I'm not depressed, I'm just a little sick. I'll be better. I'm not Scrooge or the Grinch. I love Christmas, I just don't have to do it the same way as you.

Merry Christmas

Eva Kate

I can't seem to find the time to blog anymore, but maybe the world will slow down one day soon. At night as I try to drift off to sleep, I think about all kinds of things that I would like to write about...........then morning comes and the real world is back and I just can't seem to find the time.

I just happened to have some beautiful pictures of my favorite brother and neice, so I thought I would add them.




We didn't get to spend Thanksgiving together. Jerry was with Brooke's family, and Dale & I headed down to Monroe, LA. It was still a very nice Thanksgiving. I know that Dale really enjoyed the time that he got to spend with his cousin, Brian. We also enjoyed spending time with Mona and her family. Overall it was a very good Thanksgiving. Now we are just 2 weeks away from Christmas. I can hardly believe it. Where does the time go? Christmas is going to be pretty subdued this year. After all it isn't all just about the presents. We have a wonderful "midnight" Christmas Eve service at our church. It starts at 11:30 on Christmas Eve and is surprisingly well attended. It is a tradition at our little church, and is quickly becoming a tradition for members of the community. It's simply a service where we read the Christmas story and sing appropriate Christmas hymns. As the service draws to an end, most of the lights in the sanctuary are extinguished. Each person is given a candle. We generally sing Silent Night, as we process out down the aisle and out to the church yard, but sometimes we sing Joy to the World. I love it either way. Quiet and reverant, or joy filled and exhuberant. Either way we are worshipping the birth of Jesus together. This service is Christmas for me. If you find yourself with nothing to do around 11:30 on Christmas Eve then come join us at Amboy UMC on Military road in North Little Rock!

Oh well, enough rambling for today. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And I look forward to a very Merry Christmas.

Hurting

I've been reminded again how very fragile life is, and not to take it for granted. Heaven gained another wonderful man today, Andy Andrews. A retired NLR policeman, and a building block of Levy United Methodist church.

Yesterday was busy, so busy, perhaps too busy. We had a chili cook-off fundraiser for the youth. Hustle and bustle, decorate, make sure everything is in order. Was there enough time to hug those that I love? Did I make time to visit? No I didn't, I felt pulled in 10 different directions.

Off to a meeting at Amboy, then back to Levy for another meeting and youth group. I just ran into the sanctuary, hugged Cindy, Ms. Roberta and Ms. Dawn and right back out the door. I saw Andy earlier in the day in Ms. Bobbie's office, I saw him again in the sanctuary. I'll never see him again. I cannot even comprehend it. Not at all. He seemed so strong. You would never have guessed his age just meeting him. How ironic that today we would celebrate Mr. Goss's 100th birthday, and at the same time be mourning the loss of Andy Andrews. Again, I cannot grasp this.

I know he had a heart attack, I don't know much else. Gina called to tell me the news, I just kept saying NO! NO! NO! with each thing she said as if that would make it not true. I don't worry about where he is, I know that answer. I hurt for Dawn. They relied so much on each other. For all the years that had been married, you could still tell how much they treasured each other. One of the last things they did together was pray. How awesome!

I worry even more about Daddy now. He and Andy are so much alike. Stubborn old policeman, always with a joke or story to tell. Oh that great big smile, always looking like he's up to something.

I pray for Heidi, Laci & Josi. I know how hard this loss will be for them. Andy was the glue for his family. How do I go to Bible Study tonight with my girl's? I feel so lost myself today. Once again, I have to put it all in God's hands. I know that He will guide me and give me comfort.

Club Matthews

How do you explain "Club Matthews" to someone that has never been? You just can't.....it has to be experienced. For many years now we've celebrated the 4th of July at the home of Duane & Brenda Matthews hence "Club Matthews". They graciously open their home, their pool, the front porch, the decks etc... to friends and family (it's hard to say which we are, I guess technically friends, but we feel like family.) That's how Brenda and Duane are, they make you feel like family. There is no doubt that Hospitality is one of their spiritual gifts. (I guess that is also why they own and operate Just Like Mom's restaurant). Anyway, fall brings on new excitement. The bonfire.....it is legendary. One might think the fire below could be considered a bonfire. They would be wrong, this is the "cooking fire".


This is what the real fire is made of...as you can see it's rather large. (Duane NEVER does something halfway....)



Waiting for the cooking fire to get ready. We're having Nathan's famous hot dogs, brats, etc... YUMMY!

I tried to tell them the fire was too hot for cooking but everyone was starving.
We were afraid Mr. Bill's wheels were going to melt.
Finally Perfect!

Time to get ready for the "real" fire. Don't worry Cody is a volunteer fireman.
NOW THAT'S A FIRE! Look at the reflection in the next few pics. The fire lit up the whole sky. It was quite extraordinary!





I'm not going to name everyone but just suffice it to say that a good time was had by all!



















Duane had to get on his bulldozer and push fire back up. I'm really not sure exactly why, but I'm sure it's necessary or he wouldn't do it. (Michael seemed to think that he just wanted to show off his tractor skills.)


The fire was actually very beautiful! Although it was very easy to convince all of us on where we DON'T want to spend eternity!

Everyone's gone....the old folks, Me & Dale and Brenda & Duane were the last to leave the fire. We pretty well solved all the world's problems and we're already talking about next year.

Thanks guys for another great time!